Second Chances - Surviving Divorce

Second Chances - Surviving Divorce

It was a Sunday afternoon in August of 2002. I remember it vividly because it seemed like an excerpt torn from the pages of “Waiting to Exhale.” Having grown tired of trying to figure out why my husband had been acting so distant, I finally asked him point blank, “Why am I here?” He answered simply, “I don’t know.”

I went numb as I stood there holding our three-month-old baby. After ten years of marriage, the man that I had loved for almost all my adult life had stopped loving me. Suddenly my whole life flashed before my eyes. I became physically ill, but deep down I knew that it was over.

Divorce is like a death but it’s more painful because when someone dies, they are gone forever, making it easier to have some kind of closure. With divorce, the person is still here, so you tend to relive the pain every time you see them.

Even after you have gone through the whole grieving process of denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, you always feel a sense of loss. But God gives you grace, to fill the void that is left behind.

I got married before I really got a chance to find out who I was, so I ended up living my husband’s dream and not my own. It wasn’t until he was removed from the picture that I realized God had a bigger plan for me.

Many people don’t appreciate the fact that God subtracts in order to add, and He divides in order to multiply. He also never ends on a negative, so you can be assured that the tough times will pass. Once I accepted this, He then began to reveal to me my true purpose here on Earth.

Not everyone is supposed to finish the journey with you. There are people who are with you for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. Each one serving a specific purpose based on your needs at that time. I always say that I married the wrong man at the right time. That’s because he was what I needed then, to prepare me for my life now.

For the first time in my life, I am truly excited about my future. I love the woman that I am today, and I don’t know if I could have honestly said that five or even ten years ago. God has given me a brand-new lease on life, allowing me the opportunity to do the things I never thought possible.

Someone once commented to me that my ex-husband got all of my young years. I told them yes he did—but he didn’t get the best ones.

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